A While Ago

A few years ago, ok 11 years ago (wow) I was going through a lot. My Dad and Mom had just passed away, I was just getting the hang of being a full time working mom and I was looking for a way to release the pressure and cope with the circumstances.

And that's  where my love for blogging was born. I would have wanted to take off exactly from where I left but because it was only a few years ago (haha), I can no longer remember the email address linked to my former blog. I feel bleh about it, but I am looking at it as a way for me to start anew. I found myself laughing, smiling and shaking my head altogether while reading my old posts. Funny how people change. Just like wine we are aged over the years. Experiences refine us, mould us, break us sometimes. Some remain close to their former selves while some come out as completely different. Not quite sure which among the two I am.

After all, 11 years was @just a few years ago."

Cry Out

There are days when we feel we are everything. Ever felt that? Like you had total control of everything, you felt indestructible. That feeling when you felt you had everything taken cared of. Nothing could stop you, your plans, your goals. On those occasions you have that feeling that nothing could ever go wrong. But everything goes wrong when you eat on those thoughts and allow yourself to believe in all that.

And then Baaaaam!!

PRIDE comes crashing down. And that once indestructible person that you were ends up shattered in a million pieces.  When that happens, there is an unexplainable pain that we feel. Emotions take over even if we think we are being objective in our approach.

But it is in these moments that truly define us. Do we accept what just happened to us? Do we allow it to consume us?

I've had countless times when I found myself in situations like that. Yes. Many times I actually believed I had it all just to find myself in the darkest of dark pits buried in my own web of sinful beliefs and eating the bitter truth of pride's consequences. Being the emotional person that I am, I see to it that I cry my heart out -- puffy eyes, sore throat and all, and it is on those occasions that I find myself down on my knees crying out to God. Humbling oneself before another is never easy more so if its before the Almighty one who you can never escape with your excuses. Remember, pride. But to cry out to Him must be the most relieving feeling ever.

Today I am looking for that relief.

PSALM 109:26
Help me, O LORD my God! Save me according to your steadfast love!

It is what it IS.

Life can be defined. But sometimes, life should not be defined.

We use the word 'life' casually. Sometimes we express it with a heavy sigh. Sometimes we have so many good things to say about it. Sometimes we do not want to talk about it.

We know it is a gift. New beginnings we refer to it as a miracle. When we talk about it as full of regrets we know it was wasted.

But really, what is life?

Sometimes I feel I have seen too much of it. But on occasion, I know I have not even seen half of it.

We do not define life.

Life defines us.