Friday, August 18, 2017

Friday Night Thoughts

The thing is, I'm still trying to figure out this whole athlete thing. Three years into the sport of triathlon and I know I am still in store for so much more.
An athlete when I was younger, being exposed to martial arts-- Taekwondo pretty much opened up my eyes to this competitive sport. In college, when having a boyfriend seemed more exciting, I decided to give up the sport I loved so dearly. I grew up kicking and punching and doing core workouts everyday.
Years later, in pursuit of a healthier lifestyle, I found myself running. Then ventured into biking before finally mustering up enough courage to enroll in learn to swim class, at 34 years old. And because old habits die hard, I knew in my bones I wanted to sign up for races and get it done.
Today I have embraced swim bike run as my antidote to the daily stress I face. I enjoy it a lot. I don't have a big training group, I do not even have training buddies. I train alone most of the time and I enjoy that as my being alone time since I find it a good opportunity to really zone in in prayer. Yes. I run, I pray. I bike, I pray. I swim, I pray.
Sometimes I feel like I totally smashed the workout and get so giddy and excited. You know that feeling when you end your track workout as if you were going to stand on the podium at the Olympics? Or you end your bike workout and know you got the yellow jersey at tour de france. There are days however when you just end up wondering what the heck went wrong? There are days when you just cam't seem to find enough energy to put on your shoes, walk out the dorr and finish your run.
On race day, sometimes you feel unprepared but end up nailing it completely. On some days, you walk to the starting line with full confidence and end up crossing the finish line wondering why you cramped the whole run through.
Often times I am tempted to think. Overthink. Analyze and over analyze. I love to do that. I obsess about the details. I try to track back everything and try to put all the pieces together. Well I used to at least.
Until one day it dawned upon me. At 35 and with my current level of fitness, I am in no way on the path towards becoming a PRO athlete. People like me, athletes like me are called Age Groupers. In the world of age groupers, there are the fast ones, the faster ones and those close to the PRO level. I don't think I even fit into any of the above categories. I figured I am an athlete, yes I say that with confidence, who day in an day out decides to be a better version of who I was yesterday. In pursuit of excellence, I decide to wake up everyday thankful for the energy and fervor I have to learn more about myself when I swim, bike or run. I have embraced the fact that there will be days when I will be victorious in my quest to be stronger. But there will be humbling days too when I will know how little I am and I will have to completely embrace that too.
I once said, "Running humbles me. It reminds me of who I am and who God is."

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