Monday, September 25, 2017

On Running and Humility

Running, I've said humbles me to the bones.

When we conquer things, like goals or once never imagined feats, we find ourselves in a state of belief in oneself. It is during these moments when we realize that we could do so much more or could be so much more than what or who we ever imagined. I assume this to be normal among us. It is what makes us human after all - self centered.

Looking back, there were many instances when I thought I had it all. Worse, when I thought I had it all and actually believed too much in myself. I think there is a fine line that needs to be drawn between confidence and too much of it. Too much of it can be self destructing.

So a few weeks ago, I found myself at the starting line of a half marathon race. Prior to that, I had been doing pretty well in my training. Hammering on the bike and enjoying the lung busting run sessions. I was in the middle of so many other runners feeling as if I was going to conquer the run - like I usually do, or so I thought.

3 kilometers into the run, I knew it was going to be a bad run. Had I not thought of the awful words I would get from my husband if I decided to DNF, I would have just really quit. Half way through I was shaking my head in disbelief. I was sweating profusely, my legs did not want to cooperate and my mind was just telling me I was done. I could not lower my pace to my 'usual race pace' and I just felt so blehh.

Well I finished the race. At the finish line my husband was waiting for me, apparently he had to wait much longer than expected and when I crossed the line all he asked was, "what happened?" And I really did not have an answer at give at that point.

I would have spent the next week analyzing and re-analyzing what went wrong. I decided not to. I decided to say to myself that I had a bad run. That was it.

Weeks after, this insight hits home really hard. We have nothing to boast about moreso, we are nothing without God. Really. I am reminded never to think of myself too highly, for only God sits that high.

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