The Goodbye On That Day

On that day when it was time to go, I did not feel much. Surprisingly. But maybe it was also because I was looking forward to our month long family trip to the US. I got up that day and went about my normal routine. On that day I felt flat. There were no extreme emotions -- which I initially thought would flood me on my last day at work.

13 straight years in the corporate world. May have been a short stint for those who have been in the system since like forever but I felt that 13 years gave me significant experience. All those life lessons disguised in management directives, company prerogatives -- you only get to understand once you are out of the system. Just like in any other circumstance I suppose, it is on those occasions of "on hindsight" that you realize the lessons picked up through those experiences. It's funny how, in the busyness of life you tend to forget the value of each experience you go through. On hindsight, it's not even funny, it's actually sad. And true enough, these end of the chapter moments allow us to pause and look back so that we appreciate what those years gone by were all about.

5 weeks post 'goodbye,' I am still trying to figure all this out. Now that I am back to reality, I need to figure out my new reality. Honestly, I am still at that point where I do not miss the 9-5 job. I am still enjoying the lax schedule. The past week I kept myself busy with errands and to do's that I never had the time to do in the past -- renewing my drivers license, applying for my social security ID. This week I plan to clean the house, declutter and be a bit more "quiet."

There's still no toasting to anything as I dislike uncertainty. To date I still have to answer to the question, "What's next?" However, because of faith I know Jeremiah 29:11.

Blessed Monday, everyone!

What Is SUCCESS

So yes, SUCCESS for me was a good paycheck earned and had to come with other benefits. Lots of them please!

You know, so you're this woman who has 'everything,' you pay the bills, buy not just needs but also wants, you get to travel, you treat your kids to a lot of eating out and you feel you got it all under your hands. Oh yes and you have this pretty amazing husband who supports your dreams all the way. Yes, you have everything. That's exactly how I felt. The years went by. 10 actually.

I could have anything I wanted by slowly losing everything I was. The shaking took a while. A few years. I could not seem to pin point where the storms kept coming from. Why the boat always seemed to sail on rough waters. But I tried my best to hold it all together. keep the mast up. It did not take long before I knew I had completely lost myself.  I loved my job but I no longer loved what it was doing to me because it was not making me a better person anymore.

Home Stretch (Part 1)

In exactly 4 days, I walk out of corporate life. It's been 13 years since my foot first stepped on the shiny floors of a building whose signage I read as "SUCCESS." I was a fresh graduate, married with toddler and believed in my heart the future of my son was on my shoulders. I was fortunate to have been hired just 2 months after I got my diploma.

So there I was, marveling at my new world. I was very eager to learn and was determined to impress. Like an athlete on Red Bull, I grabbed every work assignment as if it were a half time crunch. I wanted to make all the shots, I wanted so much to be recognized and there was no stopping me. Work. It is addictive. Once you get the ball rolling and you see you can call the shots there's no stopping you. Twice a month I would take home my pay with pride. I would be so happy being able to buy the milk and diapers of my son. On occasion, I would treat him to a toy.

Because more is always better, I think I was never content. Once your work gets recognized, you develop this belief in yourself. You sort of come to 'know' your value and believe in everything you do. So I believed I deserved better. Yes. I deserved a higher pay for all my abilities and skills and talents. When a door of opportunity knocked on my door, I immediately opened it. It was a job offer for a higher position and paid even higher. So I said goodbye to my very 1st job of 3 1/2 years and said hello to this new oppotunity.

Doable Things Yet May Seem Impossible

On a climb up to The Highest Point along Halsema Highway. My legs did not want to budge anymore. But I still had 45kms to go

Even on the most difficult days when all you can think of are everything but anything positive, there are still reasons to think otherwise. Difficult to do yes. But doable. Again, it is possible. I think.

Nowadays the pressures of life can be too much. There are many troubles a day can offer. Where have those days of simplicity gone? Long forgotten perhaps with the change of tides. The reality of it is this world has turned into a ball of mess and war. Where is the love?

Our country currently sits in a situation deemed rather hopeless leaving the people helpless and yes, hopeless. You wonder where the leader of the nation is. You think the leader of the nation knows nothing more than a pail full of gibberish words. And yes, I qualify that as a fact.

How can people want to bring more souls into this kind of world? Again, we have a choice to make the deemed impossible still possible.

It is doable.

For the Love Of It

Over the weekend, we had the opportunity to share our passion and interest in triathlon to a group of home schoolers in Baguio. There were a total of 29 children who joined the activity. It was a 2 day intro to triathlon camp where almost all if not all children had no idea what triathlon was all about. My husband prepared a 2 day schedule full of activities for the kids and in between we included short talks and simple lectures about the sport, proper nutrition and support the parents were to give their children especially if they decided to seriously pursue the sport. It was an interesting mix of children and parents and I must say the interaction of all participants was just plain awesome. Some of the children were hesitant about the activity mainly because they saw themselves as 'not the sporty type' while the others were just down right excited to expend their physical energy.
We tried our best to keep things simple and keep the children busy with the activities and boy did I experience the unending energy of the kids! I found myself getting even more tired than when I would actually do my workouts! Haha! I think one of the more amazing things that happened during those 2 days was being able to help kids discover things they never thought they would even like or have any interest in. One little girl rode a two wheel bike for the first time. Initially she could not balance. But come lunch time when everyone was eating and taking a break, she chose to practice and practice and before anyone knew it, she was pedalling on 2 wheels! It was a really good experience for us to witness how children can be so determined and focused.
Overall, I'd say the weekend was a good one.

Relative to that saying, "Practice the Pause."

200m before ending his 18minute 5km run, my eldest son decides to quickly pause to check "what time it is."

Oh how times have changed. At the break of the millennium we were all scampering at how technology and its effect on our lives could affect us even more. Little did we know how much more it could affect us in the years after year 2000. The humans that we are, we are able to adapt to everything happening around us. The beauty of our being human lies in our resiliency. Our capacity to understand the importance of adapting to our environment has propelled us towards where we stand at present.
As I look back on the 17 years that have passed, I can't help but shake my head and truly wonder where those years have gone. From being a college student to becoming a wife and a mother to living in the corporate world to easing out of it. The years have gone by way too fast. Now I can say I forgot to slow down -- to smell the flowers, to stare at the beauty of the blue sky. I'd be a hypocrite to say I have no regrets at all. I can make a list of them. But today, I choose to accept all of them as part of my learning. There is no sense in as they say, crying over spilt milk.
So in the busyness of this fast paced life we live in, I don't see any harm in stopping a bit somewhere in between. And yes, taking a look at the time.
It can change one's perspective.

Heed to the Warning

On a bike ride, I wanted to have a picture capturing me riding towards the waterfalls (but I did not want to get wet) but I knew it was risky because the road was very slipper. But I wanted to have that picture. So I told my husband to take the picture when I was close enough to the falls and then I would take a turn just in time to avoid biking into it and getting wet. Nice picture? Seconds after that I took a turn albeit a bit sharp and then I crashed.

Sometimes, regardless of how cautious you are (whether it was by choice or due to certain circumstances) the inevitable happens. You crash.
More often than not there are a million warning signs going on around you. Sometimes you even hear it all to clearly. Yet you still decide to proceed even if you know fully that the end results or the outcome will not be what you want it to be. So we ask ourselves, why did I still do that? The plain and simple answer to that it because we chose to. Even if we know the consequences would not look too nice at all, we decide to do it. Mainly because of our selfish desires -- to satisfy our own cravings.

A tangible example of this is our spending habits. Consumerism says buy this, buy that. You NEED this, you NEED that. Life is EASIER with this, life is EASIER with that. And we look around and see that yes, the whole world have those things. You conclude that yes, I NEED those too. You end up buying things that you do not actually need or worse you end up spending on this that are far beyond your means of living. Bottom line is you find yourself unhappy with a huge amount of debt.

Ultimately, we have a choice to make. We must remember though that we can never choose the consequences of our choices. That's why before deciding on anything, I think we should never forget to pray and seek Gods will above all. Crashes can be painful, nasty and dirty. We would not want to always find ourselves in situations like those.

James 1:5
If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.